Go Back   SFX > SFX > Off-topic: Discussion

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-07-2006, 09:02 PM
Happy-Hangman's Avatar
Happy-Hangman Happy-Hangman is online now
Wrath of Mod
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 17,850
Default Suicide (and Depression)

A sensitive issue, I know. It's one I've considered posting about for a while now, but have held off, wondering if it's entirely appropriate for this forum. I will understand completely, therefor, if the Mods decide to lock it.

A friend - one of the most pleasant, helpful, community-minded, friendly men I've ever met - killed himself in March. He was depressive and had business difficulties. He also had a young family.

My first reaction on hearing of his death, though I was fond of the man, was anger: how could he be so selfish and so cruel as to abandon his family in this way. Wasn't this the 'coward's way out'?

He was a good man, and, consequently I've tried to understand why he thought his actions were necessary. The balance of his mind was obviously unsettled by his depression, something which I can sympathise with, but not understand - not having experienced those particular dark depths. His perception of himself and his circumstances was clearly at variance with that of those around him.

I, a couple of years back, discovered a growth at the back of my eye which was occasionally impairing the vision of my only good eye. While awaiting the diagnosis of the nature of the lump I (very very briefly) considered taking the 'coward's way out', as I really don't think I could have coped, emotionally or functionally, blind. The growth turned out to be benign and easily dealt with, so I was spared further meditation on the subject - though my inclinations were quickly verging against the act, partly because I believe it cruel to those left behind, but mostly because I don't think I'd have sustained the resolve to go through with it. Looking back it astonishes me that I could have, even momentarily, considered suicide an option.

I'm not sure what direction I expect this thread to go. Discussion? Observation? I'm not asking if suicide is right or wrong, or if it's justifiable under any particular set of circumstances.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-07-2006, 11:52 PM
FREEFALL FREEFALL is offline
Eternal Champion
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 6,706
Default

i used to work in a psycriatic unit and on occasions a patient, some even recovering took there lives as they couldn't cope with it. there lives that it. they were too scared of life and what in entialed so they took the "cowards way". Like you i was angry as well but there have been times when i realised prehaps it was better for them. even thought there friends and parents were heartbroken.

it's a mixed topic really, if someone is too scared to get help the it can be seen as a cowards way but if you are mentally ill, it may be the best possible release
__________________
We took on the Romans, the Saxons, the Danes, the French, William Wallace, the Black Plague, the Roundheads, the Great Fire, Napoleon, the Nazis, and the Blitz, and we're still here. You terrorists are bloody amateurs


This is me

http://jvoportugal.wordpress.com/
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-07-2006, 06:38 AM
Sass1's Avatar
Sass1 Sass1 is offline
Eternal Champion
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Oxford (Avatar: maddeinin)
Posts: 39,634
Default

HH if someone is suffering from really, really bad depression then they often think that their family and friends will be better off without them, because they feel so utterly useless and miserable. That's assuming they're even capable of thinking of anyone else through their misery and black despair...
__________________
Foyle: Well... The Foyles, always have been hard to resist.
Sam: Absolutely, sir! (Foyle's War: Enemy Fire)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-07-2006, 08:31 AM
count_libido's Avatar
count_libido count_libido is offline
Eternal Champion
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: He rides across the nation, a thoroughbred of sin!
Posts: 32,635
Default

You may be leaving your family but what if your self-impression is so low that you feel like you are a burden to your friends, family and the world around you? You feel like they are better off without you and that is why you seek a way out. It's not the coward's way, you feel like you are doing them a favour by not being around to cause them any more bother.
__________________
Goggles on my hat,
My airship takes to the sky.
Anyone for tea?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-07-2006, 08:38 AM
pendragon pendragon is offline
Eternal Champion
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Wales
Posts: 13,837
Default

I believe that if I, or anyone else, were terminally ill then I'd want to end it - die with dignity, not slowly and painfully.

With the same regard, if a terminally-ill patient asked a doctor or loved to help them, then that person should be excused from litigation: assisted or terminally-ill "suicide" should be an option with no legal ramifications.

If a cat or dog or any other loved pet is ill and suffering, you put them down - ease their discomfort - therefore why not a human loved one?
__________________
Facebook

Silversands' launch
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-07-2006, 09:03 AM
Sass1's Avatar
Sass1 Sass1 is offline
Eternal Champion
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Oxford (Avatar: maddeinin)
Posts: 39,634
Default

I agree with Euthanasia too - but I think HH was talking more about people who aren't physically ill, but mentally ill (depressed) and kill themselves - which is a rather different matter...
__________________
Foyle: Well... The Foyles, always have been hard to resist.
Sam: Absolutely, sir! (Foyle's War: Enemy Fire)
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-07-2006, 10:28 AM
Sass1's Avatar
Sass1 Sass1 is offline
Eternal Champion
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Oxford (Avatar: maddeinin)
Posts: 39,634
Default

Jamie, that's a very honest and moving response to HH's question. I quite see where you're coming from with regard to feeling that you could not live without your wife, even though I've never had a partner... I know that in the past I've felt that I couldn't live if a friend died and I do wonder how I'll cope when my Mum dies, as she's the person to whom I'm closest, but I don't think I would commit suicide. I've been down that road - insofar as I suffered from chronic depression for two years when I was in my 20s and I was sent to a mental hospital for several days because I was considered too vulnerable to be safe "outside" - and I now feel that however bad my life gets, it will get better again, eventually... Of course, that's just my personal experience, and it's different for every person.
__________________
Foyle: Well... The Foyles, always have been hard to resist.
Sam: Absolutely, sir! (Foyle's War: Enemy Fire)
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-07-2006, 11:18 AM
darkman's Avatar
darkman darkman is offline
Eternal Champion
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Scandalnavia
Posts: 18,146
Default

first of all: it takes guts to write a so personal post on the internett (or indeed anywhere else), and it`s also a very complex and sensible topic. so jstarbuck and happy-hangman you have my deepest respect for writing this posts.

and then: alltough i don`t think that suicide is the "cowards way out", but i also think that suicide is something we should prevent at all cost. if we say that suicide is pherhaps the best treatment for someone it is we who are the cowards, if someone is so depressed that he/she are thinking of suicide we should help them get better not just let it happen.

and no i don`t euthanasia is a way to go either. doctors should help people not kill them. as my father (who is nurse) says: "if i go to a hospital i want to be sure that the doctors are there to help me, not kill me." euthanasia shouldn`t even be considered an option. if doctors cross that line it would be hard to go back again. and if we first allow euthanasia for the critcal ill, what`s to stop us for not allowing it to the mentally ill? again medical personell should be here to help us get better or at least treat or illnesses as best they can. one last argument: if we allow euthanasia, why should we bother invent new medicine or treatment methods? why should we even have hospitals?
__________________

NOD
Grandmaster of Sarahkay
Keeper of Jaelle's soul
Purchaser of wicket's soul
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-07-2006, 11:52 AM
Thanatos's Avatar
Thanatos Thanatos is offline
Eternal Champion
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In a lab experimenting with YOUR DNA!
Posts: 10,680
Default

My closest friend committed suicide several years ago. It came as a complete shock to everyone, left his family & friends distraught. There were no warning signs, he was a happy self-confident young man, he wasnít on drugs or depressed, no-one knows why he did it, but no matter what people say about suicide being Ďthe cowards way outí I donít believe that. He was far from a coward and I see it as our failure to help him through whatever it was that caused him to do this. It was a terrible thing, but no matter what, I will remember him as he was.

This started a downward spiral in my personal life, with my remaining grand parents, two cousins and my aunt all died within the space of a few years. It left me numb, I couldnít comprehend or understand why so much pain and suffering was being inflicted on our family, then some things happened at work which resulted in me quitting my job rather than being fired, this led to the worst period in my life, was on medication to deal with stress and other issues where several times I considered suicide, as I just couldnít see a way out.

If it hadnít been for my family, and the love of my gf, I honestly donít know if Iíd be here today.
__________________
Reality is but an illusion of the mind.

I'm once again taking part in the London to Southend Bike Ride to raise money for the British Heart Foundation, if you would like to sponsor me, you can do so by going to: http://original.justgiving.com/antonyenvoldsen-harris/
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-07-2006, 12:22 PM
Citizen Kate Citizen Kate is offline
Eternal Champion
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: In a state of existential confusion (usually somewhere between Winchester and Southampton)
Posts: 11,291
Default

I have suffered from depression to a greater or lesser extent for years, and I first seriously considered suicide when I was fourteen.

Since then, there have been many times when the sadness seemed absolutely unbearable, and the desire to be rid of it almost irresistible. I have a very close and loving family, and they could not protect me from these feelings, although it was the thought of what my suicide would do to them that stopped me.

One of my great-uncles killed himself after his farm failed, leaving his wife with two young childen, one of whom very severely disabled. Because I love my aunt, it is very easy to feel that this was an unforgivably selfish act and to feel very bitter towards Uncle John for leaving her in that way. On the other hand, I know nothing at all of his state of mind, his own guilt, the reasoning behind his act.

In principle, I'm not sure I can blame anyone for committing suicide because I have felt so close to it myself. Without a very clear understanding of why someone takes their life, I don't know if we can ever pass a fair judgement on their actions.
__________________
The Cee of Kay... 20th Ascendee... Raven-haired temptress... Sexy Mental

One Wife to rule them all, one Wife to find them, one Wife to bring them all and in the darkness bind them...

I shall simply appear in the night, like a Smut Ninja
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.