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Science fiction and fantasy is all about the BIG questions. Who are we? Why are here? How did Andromeda keep getting recommissioned? Those are perhaps unanswerable, but here we try to respond to some of SF and fantasy most burning posers:
"Who is Number One?"
The Prisoner
Answer: Well, it’s Number Six in a monkey mask, of course. Glad we cleared that up. Obvious really, wasn't it?
"Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time?"
Life On Mars
Answer:" F**k knows, and we’ve seen the last episode.
"Who killed Laura Palmer?"
Twin Peaks
Answer: Her dad, Leland Palmer. But it wasn't his fault, he was being possessed by Evil Bob at the time.
"Who watches the Watchmen?"
Watchman
Answer: A few million people around the globe last weekend, at least
"Scooby-Doo, where are you?"
Scooby-Doo
Answer: Hiding in a cupboard somewhere with Shaggy (where's the slash, that's what we want to know?)
"Are you my mummy?"
Doctor Who, "The Empty Child"
Answer: Yes, if you're called Florence and managed to conceal an underage pregnancy during World War II. Which we're guessing you're not.
"Are you local?"
The League Of Gentleman
Answer: Just run.
"Are you alive?"
Battlestar Galactica
Answer: Chances are, you probably wouldn't know if you weren't. Ask Tigh. Just lie.
"Is it a bird? Is it a plane?"
Superman
Answer: Have you been to Specsavers?
"Who ya gonna call?"
Ghostbusters
Answer: Not 118 118, that's for sure.
"Do androids dream of electric sheep?"
Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?
Answer: Dunno. Build an android and ask it. And while you're at it, enquire about upturned turtles.
"Have you seen this boy?"
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Answer: Yeah, in rehab.
"Did I fall asleep?"
Dollhouse
Answer: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Answer: The perfect example of decreasing returns.
What is the Lost monster?
Answer: The monster that can't find it's way home.
Posted by Jamie Starbuck (127.0.0.1) on March 13, 2009 at 01:12 PM GMT #
Answer: Nope, after nearly 50 years we still don't know. Maybe we never will.
"Whose side will you be on?"
Answer: Probably not Brett Ratner's side
Posted by Ray (127.0.0.1) on March 13, 2009 at 01:34 PM GMT #
Predator
Answer: A suit created by the late great Stan Winston & worn by the late great Kevin Peter Hall.
"Where the hell can I get eyes like that?"
Pitch Black
Answer: Gotta kill a few people...or become a bouncer at a club, change name to Vin Diesel, write and direct a short film, get that short film entered in a film festival, write and direct a feature film, get that film entered in a film festival, get a phone call from Steven Spielberg, act in a war movie, get a phone call to do voice acting, do voice acting for large robot, get phone call to play biggest bad ass in the galaxy, drive to set, sit in chair, put contacts in... yeah no killing required I guess..
Posted by Kyle Harker (127.0.0.1) on March 13, 2009 at 03:24 PM GMT #
2001 A Space Odessy
Answer: Looking under the Troubleshooting section of the manual for “My A.I. super computer has gone mad and is trying to kill me”
Posted by flora (127.0.0.1) on March 13, 2009 at 03:34 PM GMT #
Lord of the Rings
Answer: It most certainly does. And it's your round.
Posted by Angela (127.0.0.1) on March 14, 2009 at 05:38 PM GMT #
Posted by Jamie Starbuck (127.0.0.1) on March 16, 2009 at 02:05 AM GMT #