2020 Vision
From out of a wormhole of timey whimey stuff – SFX website headlines in the year 2020: 1 Foetus Cast As New Doctor Who – “Too Young!” Claim Fans 2 Disney buys Mexico 3 New Peter F Hamilton Novel So Dense It Creates Its Own Gravitational Field 4 Uwe Boll All-Nighter Blasted By Human Rights Groups 5 Spider-Man 9 To Feature 27 Different Villains 6 Clark Finally Wears Red Boots In Smallville. Cloak by 2025, Claim Producers 7 Vampire Love Triangle In Hollyoaks 8 Fourth Sequel Of Fourth Friday The 13th Remake Nears Completion 9 New Superman Movie “May Go Ahead Next Year” 10 Peter Jackson Goes Ahead With Live-Action Meet The Feebles remake 11 Games Will Kill Films, Says Games Industry 12 Oscars Rule Out "Performance By A CG-Resurrected Dead Actor" Category 13 Joss Whedon Reunites Everyone From Every Show He's Ever Done For 3D Mobile Phone Musical (But Promises Alyson Hannigan Won’t Sing) 14 10 Years On, JJ Abrams Tries To Explain Lost Finale. 15 Sky Mistakenly Places Ad In Natural Ad Break During US Show 16 Product Placement Goes Wild As File-Sharing Becomes Number One Way to Watch TV 17 Batman Has Sex Change 18 Scientist Claims To Have Translated The Clangers 19 Walt Disney’s Resurrected Head Attached To Cloned Body Of Schwarzenegger 20 Andromeda Fan Finally Discovers Other Andromeda Fan |
Posted by Mr Cairo (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 05:13 PM BST #
or
Indy 5 gets green lit
Posted by Mr Kleason (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 05:15 PM BST #
Posted by Dave Golder (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 05:46 PM BST #
:P
Posted by Wintrale (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 05:52 PM BST #
Yes their family will feature say producers.
We feel the need to ground the sci fi elements.
Tex
Posted by 127.0.0.1 on September 08, 2009 at 05:57 PM BST #
Posted by MrShears (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 06:09 PM BST #
Posted by richard (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 06:57 PM BST #
* The Sun is also finally proven right, as Paul Daniels accepts the mantle of The Doctor. His assistant is played by the lovely Debbie McGee.
* The Digital Switchover still proceeds, almost on schedule.
* Saw: The Animated Series debuts on Cartoon Network, complete with laugh track.
* Following the Siege of Michael Bay, a reboot of the Transformers franchise is ordered by Paramount with a new director at the helm. Step forward, Roland Emmerich!
* The estate of Hayley Joel Osment give the go-ahead for Harvey Keitel to star in his life story.
* The sounds of barrels being scraped, as Hollywood scrabbles over itself to get as many comic book movies into cinemas as it can. Greenlit are Plantman, Dum-Dum Dugan and Northstar.
* Fred Hembeck finally destroys the Marvel Universe. Bendis goes on record to say, "See? That's what I was trying to do for years!"
Posted by Meddling Monkfish (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 07:23 PM BST #
Not to be out done by Disney Film Four buy out 2000AD. A Judge Dredd Movie Starring the cast of E4 is in the works
Batman Begins, again. After Chris Nolan bow's out of making another batman movie Warner Bros reboot the francis
Smallville series 26 is to be the last after Tom Welling delclairs "I think I'm ready to move on"
The spin of to Ashes to Ashes "Little Wonder" debuts on the BBC. A Cop from 2015 wakes up in 1995 after a terrible accident and has to cope with a pre-braodband society
Tron 3D battles it out with Denvor the Last Dinosaur during the Christmas box office.
Posted by Scott Williams (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 07:34 PM BST #
Posted by Harry (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 08:14 PM BST #
: Red Dwarf movie only two weeks away.
: The ninth Star trek t.v spin off starts shooting in the spring. An inside source said of the new show "It's better for me to be in the gutter but Paramount pays more".
: The third x-files movie was released last week. Nobody noticed.
: Old Harry's game gets commisioned for a 1 hour pilot on C4. Andy Hamilton is excited that a channel was willing to give up soo much money for a live action version of the BBC radio 4 series.
Posted by Chris Newland (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 08:43 PM BST #
:RTD to remake ITV classic Demons.
:Bryan Fuller's amazing show Daisy Falls Dead is cancelled after just the first 13seconds being aired.
:Tarintino wows fans with his take on the Moomins.
:Channel 4 talks up a re-re-relaunch of its 'hit show' Big Brother, with a Hollywood tie in to make it a live action version of SAW 18.
Posted by Andy (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 09:49 PM BST #
* The Turin Shroud's ongoing carbon dating finally concludes, revealing itself to be one of Stan Lee's old beach towels. Lee is quoted as saying that the eerie bearded image thereon was most likely created with gamma rays.
* In other Stan Lee news, it has been revealed that the 97-year old hasn't actually done anything for decades, being instead the figurehead of a team of faceless 'web creators'. When asked, Lee said, "Excelsior, True Believers!" and all was forgotten.
* Space 1999 is due for a remake. The exact reason for keeping it set 21 years in the past is unknown, but Barbara Bain is earmarked for a return. Vaseline® are said to be "delighted".
* In further Doctor Who news, current showrunner Dale Winton is optimistic in his plans for when the show returns in the Autumn of 2021. Rumours suggest a return of the Kandy Man (again!), the Drashig, and Sabalom Glitz. However, fans were left disappointed as the Ice Warriors were again denied a line-up in the return roster, having last appeared in 1974's The Monster of Peladon.
* And finally, the remake of Cocoon is a go! And it's set to feature former President Guttenberg in his return to acting, taking on the role made famous by Wilford Brimley, who was unavailable for comment but is apparently still alive. If he wasn't, bet he'd be spinning in his grave. Or urn.
Posted by Meddling Monkfish (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 10:34 PM BST #
Posted by The Purple Avenger (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 11:08 PM BST #
:Primeval TNG gets greenlit after years of legal wrangling and viewer apathy. Ben Miller reported to be "too busy" hosting some crappy daytime quiz like his mate Alexander Armstrong to reprise his role though. Ross Kemp brought in to replace him.
:Paul Daniel's Doctor comes up against a newly regenerated Master as played by Graham Norton. Plans for a rumoured 'Thirteen Doctors' quietly shelved after a Dalek union strike.
:AVP - Salvation released. Christian Bale IS Ellen Ripley's great-grandfather in a time-bending cross-property plot that has critics scratching their temporal lobes in bemusement. The anti-CGI movement Parts For People breeds real Predators for the movie.
:Tom Hanks bails on the fourteenth new Dan Brown movie adap 'The Mckenna Code' citing creative differences with his co-star Steven Segal as Derek Acorah. Mystic Meg reported to be 'interested' in the role of Queen Camilla.
Posted by PJ Bottoms (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 11:25 PM BST #
ITV bring back Knightmare to it's Kids TV slot but it's too late as its last remaining viewer doesn't get back from work until 6:30pm. Rating fall and the show is axed.
James Cameron continues to push the limits of cinema technology with his new Sci-Fi epic Flipbook, which you can watch anywhere, keep in your pocket and view as manytimes as you like.
J K Rowling rleases her firt of 10 new Harry Potter Spin offs. This one folows the adventures of Harry's sun as he goes to Hogwarts and strugles with his maths. Not much else happens.
Michael Jacksons Moonwalker is remade, using a CG Michael.
Posted by Andy Huggy (127.0.0.1) on September 08, 2009 at 11:54 PM BST #
* Get your bank details ready! This year's Children in Need Doctor Who special is a
sponsored Terrance Dicks-athon. Outspoken "Mounties" author Dicks will be sat in a bath of baked beans on the Tardis set, finishing every sentence with "you see". Sponsors are offered the chance to donate £1 for each count of this catchprase/tic, which never gets tired in commentaries or documentaries. Pudsey was unavailable for comment.
* Litigation-baiting Harlan Ellison's been at it again, this time setting his sights on The Bible. Ellison's claim that it borrows heavily (and paradoxically) from episodes of The Outer Limits that he penned in the 1960s has been upheld. However, Ellison is unhappy at the revised characterisations between Testaments, and has had his credit removed. All future copies of The Holy Book will now be credited to one Cordwainer Bird. God was unavailable for comment, since He didn't fancy a lawsuit.
Posted by Meddling Monkfish (127.0.0.1) on September 09, 2009 at 12:05 AM BST #
Posted by Ade SFX Hill (127.0.0.1) on September 09, 2009 at 08:02 AM BST #
Probably.
Posted by Happy-Hangman (127.0.0.1) on September 09, 2009 at 09:12 AM BST #
:Family Guy is given the live action treatment with a CG-resurrected John Candy as Peter Griffin. Trey Parker and Matt Stone vow to disrupt the worldwide premiere in Kuala Lumpur dressed as manatees.
:All SF changes as the Hadron Supercollider finally goes online beneath Switzerland and time travel actually becomes a reality, much to everyone's surprise. People from the future report that the future is "really boring."
:SFX Magazine finally admit that James Bond is not SF, and issue a sheepish retroactive apology for all the times they've tried to shoehorn it into their mag over the years.
Posted by PJ Bottoms (127.0.0.1) on September 09, 2009 at 11:35 AM BST #
Posted by roger the dodger (127.0.0.1) on September 09, 2009 at 12:44 PM BST #
Britflick Westwood is a box office smash. The film, about a Tim Westwood themed theme park that goes amock after the robots of Tim Westwood go on a killing rampage, reinacts the 2015 disaster at the Radio 1 Roadshow and Lego Land Windsor.
Following the end of World War 3 work comences on the first Babylon International Space Station. Critics think it could be our last, best hope for peace.
Posted by Andy Huggy (127.0.0.1) on September 09, 2009 at 12:52 PM BST #
Posted by Zeig (127.0.0.1) on September 09, 2009 at 01:00 PM BST #
Daleks are due to return in the next Doctor Who series after the succesful spin-off sitcom "One Foot in The Genesis Ark"
Fantastic Four appear in a good movie. The world stops revolving.
ITV commission a new Sci-Fi Drama written and directed by Uwe Boll.
The hoverboard is invented, accidents involving manure skyrocket.
Firefly is re-commissioned with a smaller budget, replacing the ship with an office and Nathan Fillion with Ricky Gervais.
Futurama is cancelled for the 14th time.
Bryan Fuller re-joins heroes and quits within 5 minutes
Posted by Alex (127.0.0.1) on September 09, 2009 at 03:06 PM BST #
*Fox to produce a movie not shown in 3D
*Final Destination 12 reaches box office number one
*Disney to produce Matter Eater Lad movie
*4th Stargate spin-off show in production, says producers
*Fantastic Four's 7th reboot film to be released next year
Posted by rodders (127.0.0.1) on September 09, 2009 at 05:22 PM BST #
* Do you like monkeys? Of course you do. Everyone likes monkeys, including Howard 'Tomorrow's World' Stableford. Five years ago, he set about proving that old adage about an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters. Managing just one monkey, which he 'liberated' from Longleat Safari Park when everyone was distracted by an animatronic John Nathan-Turner during a Doctor Who convention, and a Sinclair ZX Spectrum 48k+, which he similarly liberated from the old BBC Micro Live studios back in 1984, he still wanted to see what his simian friend came up with. As well as a pretty nifty Jet Set Willy sequel, it did come up with some scripts. In a related story, brand new episodes of Robin Hood are on their way soon on BBC8, the new late-night 'mainstream experimental dregs' channel.
* In an unusual move, Sci-Fi/SyFy/Whatever has rebranded itself as ^¬`, which is unpronouncable by humans, but can be addressed by holding up a card featuring this unique symbol. The rebranded Channel Formerly Known As SyFy will be on air shortly, boasting its standard line-up of third-tier science fiction-lite ex-shows.
Posted by Meddling Monkfish (127.0.0.1) on September 09, 2009 at 07:53 PM BST #
Posted by TDBrown (127.0.0.1) on September 10, 2009 at 01:53 AM BST #
Posted by Alex (127.0.0.1) on September 10, 2009 at 06:02 PM BST #
Posted by MrShears (127.0.0.1) on September 10, 2009 at 10:12 PM BST #
"The next Season will be the best yet. Can't give too much away, but it has been planned for a long time. Episode 1 contains the words: Wibble, Giraffe, Steam-loco. Also the sentence: Don't put your troubled porridge in my bag, Mrs Lettuice. " - SFX 302
Episode 5 is the start of a 3 parter, seeing a return of favourites the Slitheen.
"They smell real this time!" said the Head Writer. - SFX 305
Due to a clash in schedules, unfortunatley Paul McGann will not be reprising his Eighth Doctor. It is a shame for Fans, that have waited these 24 years for him to be the Doctor on screen again.
"I am disapointed it will not be happening this year." said the Cheif writer. - SFX 306
Posted by William Chalker (127.0.0.1) on September 11, 2009 at 12:00 PM BST #
Posted by rodders (127.0.0.1) on September 11, 2009 at 03:05 PM BST #