Spurious Awards Of The Week

Budget Cuts Of The Week

A last minute attempt by the producers of Primeval: New World to prove they could slash the FX budget fails to save the show from the axe.

Bluntest Stake Of The Week

In the latest UK episode of The Vampire Diaries, Jeremy appears to be trying to stake Bonnie’s mum with an oven-ready parsnip.

Attack Of The Clones Of The Week

It’s not often we mention the Pre-Raphaelites in Spurious Awards, but Vivien’s permanently unreadable expression in Lightfields gives her an uncanny resemblance to the mistress in William Holman Hunt’s “The Awakening Conscience”. And while we’re sure it’s just a coincidence, considering Vivien’s clearly in denial about something in the show, the title of the painting seems spookily apt. Well, spookier than anything in the actual show anyway.

Serial Turncoats Of The Week

Backing every side in the Six Nations tournament? That’s just despicable…

Meme That Won’t Die Of The Week

Harlem Shake should be well past its sell-by date by now, and the Winchester lads may be in slight danger of leaping on the bandwagon just as it’s leaving but… this is one of the best Harlem Shakes we’ve seen. It has a dancing body bag!

Obvious Response Of The Week

Everything Wrong With Twilight in Six Minutes. Go on, admit it. Your first thought was, “They could fit it into six minutes?”

Reunion Of The Week

Oh hang on, no, it’s not a new single by Sparks (we could have sworn that was their scary keyboard play). It’s the bloke who we heard doing ”I Dreamed A Dream” in they style of Gollum a few weeks back. This time he’s covering Tears For Fears’ Mad World (the Donnie Darko version). Wonder if he does requests? Like, “Make this the last one, eh?”

Most Disturbing Image Of The Week

Okay, this might not look that disturbing at first. Until you know what it’s called: “Sexy Geordi”. Yep, Geordi as in La Forge. Takes on a whole new meaning now, doesn’t it? It’s a piece of art by Phil Rynda, created for a Star Trek-themed gallery exhibition at Q Pop Shop And Mini Gallery in Los Angeles. Some really good stuff was on show, by the looks of it. But “Sexy Geordi”? Well, we’d love to know what Brian Sewell thinks… (you can buy a print if you want).