5 Star Wars Spin-Offs Waiting To Happen

With official word that Disney are prepping a series of Star Wars spin-off films, SFX brings you five potential slices of Force-fuelled solo action…

 

FOR A FISTFUL OF CREDITS – Yes, the prequels diluted the essential unknowability that made this faceless bounty hunter such a compelling enigma in the original trilogy, but there’s enough residual cool in Boba Fett to ensure he’s the fan fave choice for a solo movie. Given his status as the Clint Eastwood-style badass of Star Wars, we’re imagining a cosmic spin on a Sergio Leone movie, bringing a vicious touch of Spaghetti Western to that galaxy far, far away. If a straight action flick doesn’t appeal, we could always watch him being slowly digested by the Sarlaac as a 9 hour art project.

 

 

THE HUTTFATHER – The slobbering, Princess-licking bulk of Jabba the Hutt is never going to front a date movie – not even if they sign Robert Pattinson to play him before his bloated Vegas period – but there’s a world of intrigue to be mined in the tale of how this vile galactic gangster rose to rule the Tatooine underworld. Get Lucas’ old chum Francis Ford Coppola on board and give us operatically-soundtracked bloodbaths in the Mos Eisley cantina while everyone’s favourite crime-slug makes the band an offer they can’t refuse. Bo shuda!

 

 

THE DARK LIGHT RISES – Biggs Darklighter is one of the more famously underexplored characters in the big screen Star Wars canon. In the original screenplay he’s established as Luke’s closest friend, leaving Tatooine for the Imperial Academy but knowing that his heart belongs to the Rebel Alliance. Lucas consigned most of luckless Garrick Hagon’s performance to the cutting room floor, leaving only his heroic death as X-Wing pilot Red 3 in the climactic assault on the Death Star trenches. Let’s see the moment he made the fateful choice to abandon that Empire pension scheme. Alternatively, given there was always an unshakable hint of ‘70s porn star about that ‘tache, The Adventures Of Biggs Darklighter, Galactic Studmuffin is surely only a greenlight away.

 

 

THE MOFF MAN PROPHECIES – Peter Cushing may have secretly rocked a pair of carpet slippers while playing Grand Moff Tarkin but his turn as the icy Imperial overseer created one of the most enduring icons in the entire Star Wars saga. We glimpsed a young Tarkin in the closing moments of Sith, positioning him as the perfect character to bridge the prequels and the original trilogy and explore the rise of the Empire from an insider’s perspective. But spare us two hours of him wailing “Why is this blessed Death Star taking so bloody long?” while Imperial builders blow air from their lips and mutter “You’re lookin’ at 20 years for the plumbing alone, guv…”

 

 

UNTITLED WOOKIE ROM-COM PROJECT – She was an ordinary, hard-working office temp with a jealous ex, a worried mother and a cat with a taste for pizza. He was a 7 ft Wookiee warrior with a crossbow and fleas. But the Force was strong the night they met on a blind date. Jennifer Aniston. Peter Mayhew. Because love is sometimes a hairy thing…

 

 

Nick Setchfield

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