Warcraft Movie Wishlist

6 Murlocs… Murlocs everywhere

They’re cute; when they dance they have a top hat; and they go “rwlrwlrwlrwl” instead of talking. Their need to be in the film shouldn’t have to be explained further. But if you really want justification consider this: they’re obviously a sentient race, they have structures and villages next to most bodies of water across Azeroth and they seem to hate everyone. Just what are they planning? Maybe we should have been paying more attention when Level 90 Elite Tauren Chieftain sung that death will rise from the tides…

7 Music by level-appropriate Elite Tauren Chieftain…

…with Chesney Hawkes as the newest band member! Duncan Jones has featured Hawkes in both of his films to date and says he will find a way to fit him into Warcraft. Well here you go Duncan, you can thank us later. Blizzard’s own in-game band is perfectly capable of covering “The One And Only” and if Hawkes wants to pick an avatar to add to the band then the more the merrier. He could be a Goblin or Pandaren, since the new races aren’t yet represented in the Horde’s favourite musical group.

8 Keep it character-driven

Both Moon and Source Code kept their focus firmly on the characters, which allowed them to flourish despite their modest budgets. Now that Jones has ALL THE MONEY (as he humorously stated on Twitter) it’d be a shame to see this go out the window. There must be a real temptation for any Warcraft movie to focus primarily on the crazy world it’s set in, but then you risk losing not only the beauty of Duncan Jones’ unfussy direction, but the human drama that drives most of the conflict in WoW.

9 David Bowie to reprise his role as the Goblin King

The Thin White Duke is no stranger to miraculous career comebacks, and now that he’s taken care of the musical bit, we think it’s about time his movie career saw a revival too with a return to his most iconic character – Labyrinth’s Goblin King Jareth. The goblins in World Of Warcraft might look nothing like Jareth’s slender cod-piece aficionado, but the other goblins in Labyrinth looked nothing like him either, so Warcraft is ripe for a Henson crossover. If anyone can talk Bowie back onto the big screen, it’s his son.

10 Duncan Jones becomes the next James Cameron…

…or rather, successful enough as a director to make whatever the hell he wants, so we finally get to see Jones’ mysterious science fiction thriller Mute on the big screen. Since exploding on the scene with Moon, Jones has proven himself capable of handling multi-million dollar blockbusters, and we’ve little doubt he’ll rise to the $100+ million challenge of Warcraft. If Jones gets it right, along with JJ Abrams, the geeks really will inherit Hollywood.