SFX Spurious Awards Of The Week

Winner this week include Ashes To Ashes, Fringe, a pub, some chopsticks and an animated tosspot

MOST UNCONVINCING SET-UP FOR A GAG OF THE WEEK

Okay, the gag in Ashes To Ashes revealing the truth about who vandalised the Blue Peter garden was brilliant. But dear lord, wasn’t the set-up a little, well, desperate? Can anybody explain why Chris lobbed that can of oil over the wall – or, indeed, why he took it out of the car and carted it with him while chasing a villain on foot – other than because they somehow needed to explain how the fish pond became polluted? And why did nobody follow Gene over the wall? And how come that guy they were chasing’s nylon jogging pants didn’t burst into flames from the sheer friction of his thighs rubbing together? Good job the payoff meant you could forgive it.

ELECTION BROADCAST OF THE WEEK
The Green Party ad that featured a cutesy bunny rabbit zapping three red, blue and yellow-coloured Daleks. Sadly, it was pulled from YouTube within a few hours – we suspect the lawyer for Dalek creator Terry Nation’s estate may have had a quiet word…

MOST PUNCHABLE ANIMATED TOSSPOT OF THE WEEK
Graham Norton.

CGI SNAKE OF THE WEEK
DVD label 2Entertain gladdened the hearts of Fifth Doctor fans this week by announcing they’re bringing out a box set of ’80s tales “Kinda” and “Snakedance”, both featuring the Mara. The exciting part, revealed in this trailer: they’ve produced optional CGI effects for “Kinda”, replacing the awful rubber snake that ruins the climax with a new CGI version.

SAUNA OF THE WEEK
The Apollo Cinema bar for the Arthur C Clarke awards. The heart of the sun might be marginally less sweaty.

STAR WARS TIE-IN TAT OF THE WEEK
An elegant implement, for a more civilised age. Lightsaber chopstick sets. Perfect for that Admiral Ackbar sushi dish.

PUB NAME OF THE WEEK
… and also unexpected press release of the week – we don’t usually get emailed when a new pub opens. But we can see why the people running this one (located at 383 Essex Road, Islington) did.

EXPERT WARNING OF THE WEEK
Stephen Hawking reckons trying to make contact with alien races is risky. “If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.” Yikes. Has anyone told SETI?

DELAYED BLUB OF THE WEEK
Got to admit, it was only when we remembered that the latest UK-screened episode of Fringe was called “White Tulip” that we realised how exquisitely heart-rending the end scene was. At first, we were just wondering he’d been sent a drawing of a melting toffee apple.