Wot, No DVD?

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DARK SKIES

TV SERIES * 1996-1997

Mulder and Scully should have been called in to investigate this case of cloning… With its abductions, implants and alien greys, this splice of The X-Files with The Invaders and The Fugitive shamelessly rode on Fox and Dana’s coat-tails.

Over 19 episodes, John Loengard and fiancé Kim Sayers investigated Government agency Majestic 12, unearthing a cover-up of the infiltration of Earth by microbial alien race The Hive. Audaciously (or tastelessly…) the show interweaved its SF with a revisionist history, incorporating real-life figures (from Jim Morrison to Carl Sagan) and events (from JFK’s assassination to the Watts riots). The plan was for every season to be set in a different decade, but the axe fell after the first, set in the ’60s.

A DVD release was pencilled in, but fell through, due to the cost of licensing the music used in the show. But hey, they could always replace the expensive stuff with library tracks, couldn’t they?

DOOMWATCH

TV SERIES * 1970-1972

This eco-thriller was the brainchild of Gerry Davis and Dr Kit Pedler, formerly story editor and scientific adviser on Doctor Who, and creators of the Cybermen. Firmly grounded in science fact, it centred on a government agency investigating curious cases caused by new technology: a plastic-melting virus; pheromone-laden lipstick; killer dolphins!

Doomwatch wasn’t afraid to shock its audience: a lead character was killed off at the end of season one, and season three’s “Sex And Violence” was considered too strong for broadcast. But our most treasured memory is a scene where Robert Powell frantically tries to fight off some killer rats that are obviously sewn onto his trousers…

Sadly, of the 38 episodes produced, 14 are missing – including all but two episodes of the third series. But 24 do survive, and we reckon in these days of ecological concern a box set would sell like hot cakes. Come on BBC!

DOUGAL AND THE BLUE CAT

FILM * 1972

Why isn’t the Magic Roundabout movie on DVD? No, not the rubbish CGI version voiced by the likes of Robbie Williams and Kylie – the feature-length version of the original Magic Roundabout.

Like the TV show, Blue Cat was animated in France by Serge Danot, then redubbed by Playschool presenter Eric Thompson (father of Emma), ignoring the French soundtrack to make up his own story, and dropping in references to everything from 2001: A Space Odyssey to NATO to keep adult viewers amused.

In the film, a nightmarish prophecy of Thatcher’s Britain (er, not really), the land of the Magic Roundabout is turned into a sea of blue, with blue flowers and spiny blue cacti sprouting all over the shop. It’s all due to an evil moggy called Buxton, who crowns himself king of the land, imprisons the Magic Roundabout crew, and steals Dougal’s magic moustache! Fenella Fielding provides the velvety tones of the sinister Blue Voice which inspires Buxton’s evil machinations.

Darker than the bite-sized versions, it’s surprisingly creepy at times. Second Sight released a VHS nearly a decade ago – how about a DVD, chaps?

EARTHFASTS

TV SERIES * 1994

This five-part BBC serial, set in North Yorkshire, concerns two schoolboys, David and Keith, who hear a mysterious drumming sound coming from a hill on the moor close to where they live. The source? An 18th century drummer boy, who walks right out of the hillside – much to his bewilderment.

Other memorable elements of the tale include a candle which never burns down, generates cold instead of heat, and causes visions; standing stones that inexplicably move around the moors; and King Arthur and his knights, asleep in a cave beneath the hill. David was played by Paul Nicholls, in his first TV role. Nicholls became a teenage heartthrob a couple of years later because of his portrayal of the troubled Joe Wicks in EastEnders.

Very sadly, Earthfasts has been somewhat tainted by grubby reality in recent years: in 2004, the author William Mayne (on whose 1966 book it was based) was convicted for a series of indecent assaults on young girls, carried out in the ’60s and ’70s. Will anyone want to release a DVD that’s going to earn royalties for someone on the sex offenders’ list? We suspect perhaps not.

THE FANTASTIC JOURNEY

TV SERIES * 1977

Tapping into the ’70s obsession with the Bermuda Triangle, this short-lived show kicked off with a family passing through a mysterious green cloud in their yacht and ending up shipwrecked on an island where past, present and future co-exist. Each week, our heroes would pass through an invisible gateway into a different time-zone, helping to topple evil regimes as they tried to find their way home.  Sounds a bit like Sliders, doesn’t it?

The colourful cast of characters included Varian,  a 23rd century pacifist armed with a sonic screwdriver-like turning fork, which could do everything from opening doors to healing people. Roddy McDowall played Jonathan Willaway, a rebel scientist from 1963. Then there was Lianna, a half-alien, half-Atlantean telepath who could communicate with her feline companion, Sil-El. African-American physician Fred Walters and 13-year-old brain Scott completed the ensemble.

Guest stars included Ian McShane as an 18th century pirate, John Saxon as an alien warlord, and Joan Collins, leader of a female revolt against a male-dominated society. Only ten episodes were made before the axe fell. The series has never been released on any home video format, and it’s high time it was.

G VS E

TV SERIES * 1999-2000

This supernatural action-comedy from twin brothers Josh and Jonas Pate (who went on to create Surface) was definitely axed prematurely. The concept? After reporter Chandler Smythe is murdered, he becomes a bounty hunter working for a secret organisation called The Corps, destroying demonic “Morlocks”, and tracking down “Faustians” – humans who’ve sold their souls for fame, riches or success.

A hip, witty, stylish show, G vs E is probably as close as we’re ever gonna get to a Quentin Tarantino TV series. A dollop of blaxploitation is provided by Chandler’s afroed partner, Henry, who died in the ’70s and still dresses and talks pretty much like Shaft.

The show could be very formulaic, simply changing the occupation of the Faustian-of-the-week (actor, wrestler, hairdresser…) but some zinger one-liners, neat in-jokes (one episode is chockablock with lines from Star Wars) and great guest stars (like Antonio Fargas and Nichelle Nichols) more than compensate.