SFX Spurious Awards Of The Week 4

Jared Padalecki’s bottom, Morena Baccarin’s metal tongue, X-rated mugs and a whole lot more…

CARRY ON QUOTE OF THE WEEK
From the Matt Smith interview in SFX 195, which has just gone out to subscribers: “I’ve had dinner with Peter [Davison], at Steven Moffat’s house, which was very exciting, and we talked all things Doctor Who. And we got his toy out! Which is a collector’s item, apparently. So that was fun.” Matt also wins our Geek Of The Week Award for being stopped at customs… for carrying a sonic screwdriver. Shame he didn’t have his psychic paper with him.

IRRESISTIBLE CAPTION OPPORTUNITY OF THE WEEK
“Anna speaks with forked tongue.” V provides lizard-in-disguise Anna with a sushi fork to provide some not so subtle imagery.

X-RATED MUGS OF THE WEEK
Maybe not the tea set to use when the vicar comes round. The actual mugs come uncensored. But wouldn’t it be great if they came censored but then the real words appeared when hot tea was put inside? Available from Titan Merchandise.

MOST EXCITING OPENING LINE OF THE WEEK
“I recently took my bubble jet printer into an authorised repairer…” From Look Who’s Talking, a collection of Sixth Doctor Colin Baker’s columns for his local paper.

MYTHBUSTER OF THE WEEK
Remember that famous scene in 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea with the giant squid attacking the Nautilus? Complete bobbins, according to “I’ve done my research” party pooper China Miéville. In his latest book, Kraken (or, One Of Our Giant Squid Is Missing as it really should have been called) he points out that because of the low pressure of the water near the sea’s surface, giant squid are actually rather lethargic and useless if they pop their tentacles above water. So the one in the Disney film should have been a sitting duck. (The book’s great by the way…)

TOXIC ALERT OF THE WEEK
Depending on your sexual preferences, you may think that Supernatural’s Jared Padalecki has a very nice arse. You might not be so fond of it if you had to work with him. According to Jim Beaver, who plays Bobby Singer on the show, speaking to zap2it.com, “I could never live with Jared. I’m very sensitive to terrible smells. I’m really fond of both of them [Jared and Jensen] . I just wish I could control certain elements of Jared’s diet. Limiting it to food, for example.” And he seems to be such a fan of salad in the actual show…

APRIL FOOL OF THE WEEK
We just love this!

BEST OJ SIMPSON IMPRESSION OF THE WEEK
Cylon girl Zoe goes on the run from the law in a very faithful recreation of the most famous car chase in history – albeit one played back at slightly higher speed than the rather sedate real world chase.