The Worst TV Episode Titles

25 “Super-Secret Cypher Snatch” The Avengers
Alliteration with a whiff of desperation, and an unfortunate innuendo.

24 “Motorcycle Boogie” The Bionic Woman
Might have been acceptable for an episode of Fame, but even then, it’s doubtful.

23 “Four To Doomsday” Doctor Who
Four what to Doomsday?

22 “Tomorrow, The Rat” Doomwatch
Can’t wait.

21 “The Unorthodox Shepherd” Joe 90
Bleating rubbish.

20 “Mudworm” The Man From Atlantis
Yuck.

19 “The Sort Of Do-It-Yourself Dreadful Affair” The Man From UNCLE
A self-fulfilling prophecy.

18 “H+2+0=Death” The Six Million Dollar Man
And they say standards in science teaching are bad today?

17 “A Nut For Marineville“ Stingray
Blimey, what’s this? The episode where they had to call in the maintenance man?

16 “Confetti Check A-OK” UFO
Title check, far from okay.

15 “And The Rock Cried Out No Hiding Place” Babylon 5
Seems to be attempting to recapture the poetry of those original Trek titles, but even though it’s a misquote from a gospel song, it just sounds pretentious. And baffling.

14 “The Gun On Ice Planet Zero” Battlestar Galactica (1978)
A stunningly banal bunch of words cunningly combined into a phrase even duller than any of the individual elements. Quite a feat.

13 “Sneeze” Smallville
Smallville always uses single-word episode titles, but that’s no excuse. What next? Hiccup? Burp? Belch? Fart? (Actually, we’d like to see a Smallville episode called “Fart”).

12 “Soft Light” The X-Files
Low music and candles as well, presumably. Maybe they could have translated it into Romanian to give it more oomph.

11 “DNA Mad Scientist” Farscape
We just don’t get this one? Is it a pun we’re missing?

10 “The Rules of Luton” Space: 1999
Inspired when the show’s American producer was driving to Gerry Anderson’s studios at Pinewood and passed a road sign for Luton… which he thought sounded suitably exotic and alien. We kid you not.

9 “Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down” Battlestar Galactica
The grimmest, dourest, most serious SF show in history really should not do puns. Even if they’re good puns. Which this isn’t

8 “City Of” Angel
Just a bad idea. We get the joke – the show is set in LA, the city of angels. But as an episode title, it just looks like a typo.

7 “Ex Deus Machina” Stargate SG-1
Erm, any reason for swapping round the words?

6 “The Terribly Happy Embalmers” Adam Adamant Lives!
Good for them. Next!

5 “Deja Boo” Ghost Whisperer
Oh good grief. The phrase “déjà vu” has been the subject of many heinous crimes against punning in episode title history and this is one of the worst.

4 “Three Men And A Smoking Diaper” The Lone Gunmen
“Diaper” should never, ever be used in an episode title.

3 “Some Must Watch While Some Must Sleep” Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
An open invitation to TV critics.

2 “Cosmic Whiz Kid” Buck Rogers
As soon as those words come up on screen, your Pavlovian reaction is to switch off.

1 Take Your Pick Charmed
It’s impossible to pick just one bad Charmed episode title. The show turned cringingly bad puns into an art form. Indeed, may suspect that the writers sat around coming up with the titles first, then making up the plots afterwards. So, “witch” is the winner? (Sorry) You decide. It’s a tough call:

From Fear To Etenity
P3 H2O
Animal Pragmatism
Apocalypse Not
Be Careful What You Witch For
A Knight To Remember
Charmed And Dangerous
Womb Raider
Witches In Tights
A Witch In Time
Y Tu Mummy Tambien
Sand Francisco Dreamin’
Sense And Sense Ability
Valhalley Of The Dolls
Hyde School Reunion
Crimes and Witch-Demenours
The Bare Witch Project
Styx Feet Under
Wicthness Protection
Carpe Demon
The Seven Year Witch
Scry Hard
Malice In Wonderland
Battle Of The Hexes
Gone With Witches
The Jung And The Restless

Go to The 25 Best Episode Titles